caitlin hill and the little red hearts

I like a lot of things.

4,188 notes

Anonymous asked: So it seems stalker might get off lightly. How would you feel about that, silly little idiot.



How I feel has nothing to do with it. I immediately sent this message to the NZ police and directly to the FBI and directly to the victims’ assistance counsel who has been keeping me up to date on everything, informing them that you, my stalker, have now broken the terms of your arrest.

The terms, as a refresher, were:

  • No using the Internet
  • No using post
  • No contacting Melissa Anelli or any of her family and friends
  • No contacting anyone in North America. 

No one but my stalker would have had any information about the severity or lack thereof of her sentence. And after 6.5 years I can spot a sentence she has written from a mile away without reading glasses. I am publishing this so that it is well known that she has broken the terms of her bail. Because the last time I wasn’t silent about one of her messages, it led to her arrest. I don’t want this break of her bail conditions - while awaiting sentencing no less! - to go unnoted. 

The Melissa of a year ago would not have published this. But I am so done. I have done everything everyone has asked. I have written the letters to the judges going over the whole thing in excruciating and personally painful detail. I have saved evidence with the organization of a librarian. I have answered every question and waited through every deferment and delay, and I am done just doing what is usually done in these instances. This is endless, and it is harmful, and it must stop, and “getting off lightly” would be a complete travesty. As is the fact that no one is monitoring her well enough to see how she is breaking the terms of her bail, and that no one is convinced she should be incarcerated in some fashion.

You know what I’m not done with, and can’t just decide to be done with? Being a victim. That is up to the people who work for the legal system of New Zealand. My being a victim. Up to them. How I deal with being a victim? Up to me. Whether I am continually victimized? Them.

And maybe making this public will make me less sympathetic to some judge down there and that will lessen her sentence for some completely non-sensical reason, I don’t know. But I am so beyond done with it being everyone else's call. 

This is life with a serious stalker. Everyone who is worried about harassment on the Internet needs to see and know and understand this. This goes beyond getting hordes of hateful or threatening YouTube comments: this is about when someone gets in. We are talking about 6.5 years of constant threats and abuse that go offline and into the physical realm, stalking and harassment that touch everyone I know, that has not yet been deterred by TWO ARRESTS and the threat of jail. If you aren’t sure what this post is about, read this for a reminder.

Excuse me. I must now go and undo all of the small victories from the past few months, starting with the allowing of asks.

It was nice there, for a while, feeling normal.

I share this, because this story has been such a horror. 6.5 years. Hundreds—is it thousands? it must be well into the thousands now—of graphic rape and death threats coming from one clearly identified (self-identified, even) person. An FBI investigation. Two arrests. And still, even during sentencing, the stalker tries to taunt Melissa.

This is the reality of online stalking.

Here’s my wish: that this case is a precedent for justice and action taken. If the New Zealand courts fail now, then they really fail. Please share this—because it’s real. I’ve seen this, what’s it’s done to Melissa. I’ve gotten notes from the stalker myself. Press, victim services, whatever you can reach, please reach. Please reblog. This one has to end. They all have to end.

This has to end. I remember the sense of helplessness I felt when reading an online message from someone telling me that the reason they persistently posted a horrific edit of one of my videos was because they wanted to “destroy” me. I can only imagine how terrifying 6.5 years of harassment, threats, and stalking would feel. I’ve also seen similar versions of this happen to friends of mine, and we feel like there’s nothing we can do. Let’s set a precedent. Let’s change this. Please reblog. And my best wishes to Melissa for more moments of feeling “normal”. So heartbreaking xx

3 notes

My Teeth

You may not know this about me, but my teeth are going nuts.
[Like the NK Orthodontist page for your vote to count, and then comment my name on the link below to vote for me! We have until Nov 1st!]

Impacted molars are pushing my teeth sideways and causing major crowding, even after they are removed, I’ll still need help to fix the “sideways teeth”. You don’t see it much in person, but you see it a LOT on camera, and as an actor and not quite Steve Buscemi, it’s really important to me to have straighter teeth.

It would really mean a lot for me if you voted. After 10 votes, I’ll post a pic of my teeth and maybe take some suggestions for added incentives for you Maybe a pic of my teeth will be too scary? Thank you for your help and attention <3

[Like the NK Orthodontist page for your vote to count, and then comment my name on the link below to vote for me! We have until Nov 1st!]

Filed under teeth

65 notes

All work and no play
Never made me lose it
All business all day
Keeps me up a level
All work and no play
Keeps me on the new shit
Lorde (Still Sane)  (via brettesims)

25,660 notes

You should be angry. You must not be bitter. Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. It doesn’t do anything to the object of its displeasure. So use that anger. You write it. You paint it. You dance it. You march it. You vote it. You do everything about it. You talk it. Never stop talking it.
Maya Angelou (via fandomsandfeminism)

(Source: theremixkid, via dreadforks)

Filed under use it reminder to do

550,934 notes



the satisfaction

One time in like 5th grade I had this teacher and she gave us all bottles of shit like this and told us to squeeze it all out and of course we were like fuck yeah and did it and then she said, “Now, try and shove it all back in the container.” Of course we all tried, and then stared at her confused as shit. When we all obviously gave up, she said, “In the moment, you were so consumed with what you were doing that you didn’t realize the mess you were making. Then, after it was so quickly and easily poured out, you realize it is impossible to put it all back in. Remember this for the rest of your lives when it comes to the words that come out of your mouth” and we were like 10 so we were like yeah ok whatever lady, but somehow to this day I think of it constantly. 

(Source: officialkirstie, via zombielove74)

2 notes

Why did CNN give Nick Pasichuke air time? What an insult to the victims and their families. ‘Yeah, dude, I Iived, totes sucks about the dead bro, but I made it - stay positive.’ Easy for you to say, asshole. PUKE.

Filed under santa barbara